The War on Christianity

Taking the Fight to the Christian Right

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Every Young Man needs a Fish Story

I was sitting on the beach of a small lake in Washington state, sipping on a can of Pepsi. Father was drinking a can of Budweiser, and we were both watching our poles. They were at our feet, leaning up against some forked sticks we had stuck in the sand for that purpose.

We had been there since early morning, and would soon be packing it in, for it was now late afternoon. It had been a boring day, only a few nibbles all day long. And these were from bait snatchers. Those little finger fish, that were small enough to be used as bait themselves.

I was wishing I had brought a book along, but Father forbade that kind of thing on a fishing trip. So, I found myself daydreaming a lot. At eight years old, I could sit and stare at a fishing pole for only so long, before becoming bored. So, that was what I was doing, daydreaming, when I heard the characteristic buzzing of the line being pulled from the spinning rod in front of me.

I jumped up startled, and accidently kicked the pole over onto the sand. Then the fish pulled it down the beach, where it came to rest with the tip of the pole in the lake.

"I'll get it," I said to my Father, as I stumbled after the pole. I didn't want him messing around with my pole, not after waiting all day. In my excitement, I wasn't watching where I was going, or maybe I just tripped over my own two feet, but I fell down face first into the sand, my outstretched hands seeking a pole that was just out of reach. And I hear my Father chuckling to himself in the background, as I jump to my feet again.

But that fish had already jerked once more upon the pole, dragging it into the lake, where it came to rest a few feet from shore in about a foot of water. I hurriedly shucked my shoes, jammed my pants up around my knees, and waded into the water, and that fish. I really wanted that fish, if only to quiet the cackling going on behind me.

And wouldn't you know it, just as I got close to the pole, the fish pulls it another six feet into the lake, where it rested now in two feet of water. I hurried after, resigned to getting my pants wet, and finally stepped on the handle of the pole. I breathed a sigh of relief. He won't be laughing when I bring this fish in, I thought. It had to be a huge fish to pull the pole along like that.

I felt in control of the situation now. My pants were already wet, but I didn't see any reason that I should get the rest of my cloths wet by stooping over to pick it up with my hands. So, I hooked my toes around the handle on the spinning rod, and began to lift it up to where it was within reach.

This was just not my day. No sooner did I lift the pole from the bottom, than the fish took off again. And I was just unbalanced enough, that the solid tug on the pole caused me to fall over face first into the water. All to the gleeful delight of my Father, who was watching from where he sat on the beach.

I was now determined to get that fish. I swam after the pole, out about twenty feet from the shore I spotted it six feet down. I swam to a place above the pole, and dove. Only to be cheated one more time by that damn fish. This time there was nothing I could do but watch, as the fish pulled it into the murky depths of the lake, where I could no longer follow.

Beaten by a fish, I thought, feeling annoyed and dejected, as I swam back to shore. Father was still sitting there chuckling to himself, which didn't make me feel any better at all.

"It got away, Daddy," I confessed.

"The big ones often do," he said, laughter in his voice.

"Yeah, but this one stole my pole!"

"Don't look so glum, son. We'll buy you another fishing pole." Which was nice, but I had still been beaten by a fish, and I was not to be easily pulled out of my anger and annoyance.

"Look at it this way, son. Every man needs a good fish story to tell his friends, and now you have yours."

"That's true," I said, finally somewhat mollified.

Father turned out to be right though. I've told this story many times over the years that followed. And as I continued to grow in size and stature, wouldn't you know it? So, did that fish.

 

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