The Warriors Secular
Path to God

A Spiritual Path for Those of Us
Who Experience the Connection to God
As Libido

A Road Map of the Process

    What I’d like to do here is to show you some of the things that I had to go through in this process of coming to love my Self.  I’ve spent my whole life in this process as I had no one who had gone before, and I was just blazing the trail, following my intuition wherever it led.  But in retrospect, I can see the path clearly, and thus hopefully, make your journey much less tumultuous and painful than mine.

    Can you imagine standing in a field with two feet of snow on the ground?  Then you punch your hand down through the snow until you can touch the ground.  The imagine moving your arm back and forth, and right and left widening the hole in the snow until you have created for your Self a place of solid footing on which to stand.  This is something like what the deer and the elk do in the wintertime when they need to get to the grasses below the snow in order to fill their bellies with foliage.

    This is something like what you are going to have to go through in order to heal you unconscious mind and come to love your Self.  In retrospect It’s a pretty straightforward process.  You have to punch through the Guilt Shroud around the Physical Body.  Then you have to punch through the Fear Shroud around the Emotional Body.  After that, you can cross over to the Reference beam, but don’t think for a minute that this will be easy.  For, as soon as you cross over you will have to deal with and punch through the Shame Shroud around the Spiritual Body.  This is where you will find a genuine love for your Self, and all that exists here on Planet Earth.  The final step is punching a hole through the Doubt Shroud around the Mental Body.  

    This is where I’m at in my process.  I have done the first three, but I’m still working on the Doubt Shroud.  I guess there’s always more to do, no matter how high up the ladder you grow.  In any case, I have come a long way in this lifetime, and hopefully these understanding will help you in your process of realizing who you are.
   

Punching Through the Guilt Shroud
Around the Physical Body

    This is actually the easiest part of the whole process for we of thee Body Polarity.  And that is simply because we are the Body for all that  exists in this creation.  The physical body is our home plate, or where we start from. 

    Guilt get manifest made when we go against our own moral values, or what we say is important to us in life.  The problem is that these moral values tend to be inducted into us at a very early age, usually pre-pubescent, via the institutions of Family, Church, and State.  And these moral values, especially those around sexuality are totally inappropriate for we of the Body Polarity.

    So, for us, we typically go against these moral values sometime around the time we reach puberty, at which point we feel guilty, and the powers that be see this guilt within us and use it as justification to punish us, for failing or refusing to get with their program.  What we need to realize is that their program doesn’t work for us and never will.  So in order to create a a place to stand we need to recreate morality as something appropriate to who we are, irrespective to what the Spirit and Heart Polarities think should be the rules by which we all should live.

    Not unlike reality itself, morality exists at our bequest, essentially we are amoral beings, which is to say above morality.  We create it and then choose to live in accordance with our creation.  The problem is that Christian morality laid upon us in our youth always comes back to bite us in the butt in the form of guilt.  So in order to deal with the guilt reflections, what we need to do is to realize this truth, dump the Christian moral values and create a morality for ourselves that is appropriate to us, we of the Body Polarity.   So, let’s do a little process here and now to free you up from Christian morality.  It’s a simple principal of engineering that says, you have to undo what you don’t want before you can replace it with what you do want.

    Picture in your mind’s eye a book with a title that says “Christian Moral Values”.  Then draw a line across the book from the lower left corner to the upper right corner.  Above the line write the words “I do not agree to create this as my reality” and sign your name under the line.  Next, put a frame or border around the book of whatever colors come to mind.  Your unconscious mind knows precisely the right colors to use.  Then starting from the top of your head let the book frame and all drift through your body until it drops through the soles of your feet, letting every cell of your body come into alignment with this as your new truth.

    While the induction of so called Family Values are a favorite form of guilt induction used against us by those on the Reference Beam, the word “should” is second on the list of ways that the Family, the Church, and State induct quilt into us, for the purpose of getting us to “get with their program,” or to live our lives as they have determined that we should.  Note the final word “should” in that sentence. 

    Listen to these words:  You should do such and such this way.  Do you feel the Guilt being handed to you in that simple statement?  Now, listen to these words:  You could do such and such in that way.  Do you hear the difference, no guilt?  In the first statement the person making the request has made the choice for you, before you had any chance to make it yourself.  The second statement acknowledges that you could do it that way, but allows you to make the choice in your own right. 

    When I realized this I decided to do a little reframe that you might also wish to do.  I pictured a book entitled All the Thoughts in My Head on my computer.  Then I pulled up the global change screen and entered the commands to change all instances of the word should to the word could, and hit <Enter>.  If you would like to do this reframe, click, put a frame or a border of whatever colors come to mind and run that picture through your body letting every instance of the word should be changed to could within every cell of your being, taking back your power to make the call in your own right.

A Body Polarized Morality

    I was cuddling and kissing, or basically making out with Carol, while leaning up against a pine tree on her uncles property.  We were both High School Seniors, and I was doing my best to try to pry her legs open so I could cop a feel. 

    Then she broke down and began crying.  Through her tears she confessed that she was no longer a virgin, she had lost her virginity to her uncle who had molested her and felt that as a result she was no longer marriage material.  Now, I knew that I was going into the Marines, because I didn’t have any other option, and she was going to collage at the University of Washington at Bellingham. 

    Anyway, I let her know that for me virginity was not an issue.  I could not consider marrying any woman who had not slept with at least fifty men.  So, I said, go to Bellingham, sew your wild oats and after I get out of the Marines and you get your degree, maybe then we can consider marriage.  Well, she became indignant got up and stormed away in a huff, leaving me with an erection the size of the pine tree I was leaning against.

    The point is that even at seventeen I knew that I didn’t want to commit to any woman who didn’t know what the hell she was doing in the bedroom.  There was a wonderful scene in some old western, where the mother catches her daughter smooching with a boy and pulls her aside.  She looks at her daughter and says, “Don’t you want to be a good girl?”  And the daughter replied, “How can I get good if I never get any practice?” 

    And that is exactly how I feel and have always felt.  Who in the hell wants a virgin?  It takes a lot of work, and patience to teach a young woman how to be a good lover.  No, I for one have no desire for a virgin.  I want the woman who looks at my penis and states with confidence, “Hmm, well, well, I know what to do with that.”

    You see, folks, God looks into this reality from the Reference Beam and as such his value structure is manifested from the top down.  He values family first, love second, life third and lust last.   We, on the other hand look into this reality from the bottom up and our value structure is manifested in the opposite direction.  We value lust first, then life because you can’t get laid if you’re dead, followed by love and family last.

    We of the Body Polarity value the three hole babe and the boy with the really big hands, the woman who never says no, and the man who can get it up four times in a day without the use if Viagra.  We value big breasts, round bottoms and the Babe who can throat the penis.  Oh, and long live circumcision.  We have the opposite values of the Spirit and Heart Polarities, which is to be expected since we are the equal and opposite polarity. 

    We do not have Family Values.  From our point of view the institutions of Family, Church, and State are the source of nearly all of our pain and suffering.  In our families, we are brutally beaten by our parents, to get us to conform to their wishes.  In fact, my mother actually had a bumper sticker on her car that said “Obey your parents, or they will beat you.”  She thought that was funny. 

    But the Church is worse, in their induction of guilt and shame especially around sexuality, which is particularly insidious when inducted prior to puberty.  And then we have the State, which has made a career of inducting shame into us, telling us that we were “bad boys” and “bad girls” if we could not abide their laws, which is to say give over our right to create our truth as we wish. 

    No, folks, We of the Body Polarity do not have Family Values.  In fact, in the three thousand one hundred and forty-three lifetimes that I have been here on this planet, the only family that I have ever known is the “Band of Brothers.”  God bless the boys at Bastone.  “Nuts.”

    So what do we want to have as a moralistic framework for we of the Body Polarity.  Well, obviously we value lust more than anything else.  That’s just the way it is because we experience the connection to God as libido, and we must maintain that connection, lest we loose our desire for life.  

    After that, I have chosen to value honesty and integrity as the most important values in life.  Honesty is important because no matter what you may think, you cannot lie to your Self, though we have tried.  And we have tried because we had to have sex, and we did not know how to free ourselves from the anti-sexual Christian moral values inducted into us as children.  Yes, those values that were totally unacceptable to us. 

    Integrity is about living your life in accordance with the things that you have chosen to value, of your own free will.  As long as you honor your own values, you will see yourself as a man or woman of integrity. 

    So the question becomes, what is it that you choose to value?  For me I started with honesty, integrity, love and life, and began to build out my little thought tension-strut-wire system from that foundation.  I’m certainly not done, there is much more work to do.  I just know that what the Church has been telling me that I should value, does not work for me, and so, I must do the best I can to try to figure it out for myself, and so will you. 

   You’ll need to build for you Self a place to stand, a place from which to deal with the other three shrouds, and that can be founded in ruthless honesty with one’s Self, and impeccably integrity.  If you can create that for yourself first, you will have a chance of succeeding.  I wish you luck in your journey.  This is not an impossible task, it just takes time, and perseverance.

    Once you have punched a hole through the Guilt Shroud, it gets interesting, because the next step is the Fear Shroud.  If you thought Guilt was a problem, you ain’t seen nothing yet, folks.  Let the games begin.

Punching through the Fear Shroud
Around the Emotional Body

    While I call it the “Fear Shroud” the shroud around the emotional body can and does contain any of a whole spectrum of emotions that were not fully felt at the time of the original experience.  These traumatized children can actually be holding any emotion, like embarrassment, anger, rage, fear, terror, grief, regret, self-hatred, or any other emotion available for humankind to experience.

    For the most part, you can deal with these experiences by simply using the reframe I gave you earlier, but there are a few particularly valuable tips that I have seen in my process and would like to show you so that hopefully your path will be less painful than mine.

    If you’re going to do this work, the first thing you’re going to have to deal with is grief, and for us men the shame we hold in our auric field around the expression of grief, or the shedding of tears.  As men we have been so thoroughly shamed for any such expression and so this is where you have to begin, the acceptance of grief.  It’s interesting that with this one, we have grief that is held in the emotional body, but we also have the associated shame held in the spiritual body.  These two parts of this problem seem to be intertwined and supporting one another in remaining hidden from view.

    And while I understand that the women who read this book might have a little easier time of expressing their grief, they still have the memories of 1023 male ancestors who have a prejudice against such expression.

    Anyway, I have a little story for you that will hopefully illustrate my point.

Healing Crystals

    I hung my head and tried to gather myself together to keep the tears from flowing down my face.  I didn't want to embarrass myself by crying in front of Gail, as we walked the last few hundred feet to her front door.  As always, we were holding hands as we walked.  It was a solemn moment.  This was to be our last walk together.  Tomorrow, I would leave Seattle with my parents never to see her again.

    I was fourteen years old at the time we met, and we had been seeing each other for about eight weeks.  I had never made any advances towards her.  I was always respectful and came to joy in her company whenever we could be together.  In those few short weeks I had come to love her, and was sure the feeling was returned. 

    As we approached her front door, she turned around to face me.

    "I'm going to miss you, you know."  I said, as a tear escaped from my eyes and began to roll down my cheek.

    "I know.  We had a lot of fun together.  I'll miss you too." she replied, smiling sweetly.

    "Well," I said gathering strength.  "I guess it's time to say goodbye."  And with that I put out my hand to shake her hand.  We had never kissed.

    She took my hand and came close.  Then she took my cheeks in her hands and gave me a long, slow French kiss.  When she broke the kiss, she looked me in the eyes, smiled and said in a gentle and loving tone, "Goodbye, Richard."

    I was stunned, but there wasn't anything to do.  "Goodbye," I replied. 

    I backed away a few steps, then I turned around to hide the tears running down my cheeks and began the two mile trek up the hill to our home.  I found that I could not hold back the tears of a broken heart, as I dragged myself up the hill.  They flowed down my cheeks in a steady stream, as I mourned the loss of genuine love.  Why did we have to move, AGAIN! 

    I thought of the way she'd kissed me.  It was an incredible goodbye kiss, she had held nothing back.  I could still taste her cherry lip gloss on my lips.  And as I savored the taste of her, I was overwhelmed with regret and the associated grief. 

    I should have kissed her a long time ago, I thought.  But alas, I was too shy and too afraid of being rejected.  Nonetheless, I berated myself for being a coward and for not having taken the risk. These thoughts added to the pain I that was already feeling.

    I had to gather myself together when I returned home.  There was still the last minute packing to do.  I did my best not to think of Gail, as I went through the motions of packing things up.  It helped to keep busy.  By around nine o'clock, the trailer was completely loaded and we had a dinner from Kentucky Fried Chicken.  Then I curled up in a sleeping bag alone in my now empty room, recanted my time with Gail, and quietly sobbed myself to sleep.

    The next morning we all climbed into our car and began the trip to our new home in Scotts Valley, which was near Santa Cruz in California.  I was sitting by the window behind my mother.  My father was driving.  My sister had the other window in the back seat and our little brother sat in the middle.

    I began to feel confined in that car with my grief and all these people.  I was no longer able to busy myself and I wished I could go off alone to grieve in solitude.  But it was not to be. 

    By the time we exited Tacoma my heartbreak had welled up in me to the point where I could not hold it back anymore.  I turned towards the window, hid my face in my arm and began to sob as quietly as I could.  I felt incredible embarrassment and shame at not being able to hold back the tears. 

    A moment later I was overcome with grief and cried a little too loudly.  Father had heard me.  He turned around and in a harsh tone said, "What the hell are you crying about."

    Mother gave him a stern look, then looked at me,  "What's the matter, Son."

    I was so embarrassed I could hardly stand to be in my own body.  My cheeks flushed red, as I replied.  "It's Gail.  I'm never gonna to see her again."  And with that acknowledgment the tears flowed down my cheeks like a flooded river in springtime. 

    My brother teased me then, saying, "Richie is a cry baby, Richie is a cry baby."
    Mother smiled a knowing smile at me.  Then she said to everyone else in the car, "Leave the boy alone.  Let him cry if he needs to."

    I buried my face in my arm to hide my shame and continued to cry.  Mother had said it was okay.  Nobody bothered me, as I keened out my grief and heartbreak.  They would talk amongst themselves, but I simply choose to ignore them.

    Having been given permission to cry, I soon found that I no longer felt embarrassment or shame at the tears that flowed down my cheeks.  I thought of the love I had for Gail and decided that these tears were a testament to the love that we had shared.  And that every tear that exited my blurry eyes honored Gail and our relationship together. 

    Soon I was sobbing relentlessly.  I couldn't hold any of it back and I didn't want to.  I was completely aligned within myself and willing to cry for a hundred years or more, if necessary.  I had loved her!  She was magnificent.

    About the time we reached Olympia, I found it was getting harder and harder to cry.  And I found myself feeling guilty.  I had only grieved for about an hour or two.  And I thought, Is this all she meant to me?  The guilt made me want to cry some more, in honor of the first true love of my life.  So, I carefully went back through every single time we had been together, and every conversation we had ever had.  I thought of what she had told me about her life and her plans for the future and was able to dig up enough loss and heartbreak to cry for about another hour or so.

    But by the time we passed over the Columbia, I found that I was all cried out.  There were no more tears to give, and I decided that Gail had been properly honored.  I couldn't go on anyway.  I was too excited about the future and was actually looking forward to a new home, a new school, and new friends. 

    I was especially excited at the idea of finding a new girlfriend.  One who could kiss as good as Gail.

Grief

    This is a story that I wrote several years ago, but it fits so nicely into what I have to communicate that I decided to include it here.  This story illustrates two points of crucial importance, and boys and girls, you need to get these in your guts.

    The first point is that feelings expressed evolve.  And in this case we had massive grief of a legitimate loss that evolved into excitement.  But that ‘s not the only evolutionary pattern.  Certainly, rage can evolve into terror, or terror into rage, or embarrassment into humor, and these are just a few potential patterns.  There are many different ways in which one emotion can morph into another, when we fully accept the initial emotional response to an experience. 

    Warner Erhard put it very succinctly when he said “That which you resist, persists.”  Actually I think that was a little too succinct.  I suspect the little story above will be more enlightening to the Body Polarity, as it gives you the opportunity to anchor the understanding within a real experience.

    The bottom line here folks, is that if you cannot grieve a legitimate loss, you are screwed.  In that you won’t have a snowflakes chance in hell of being able to heal your unconscious mind. 

    You see, we all have several hundred thousand traumatized children hanging out in our auric fields, and for the most part these are ancestral memories.  Most of these painful memories are from the childhood of our ancestors, ages two to fifteen.  When you bring back one of these memories and love it into a healing, one of the first things that’s likely to happen is that the child will need to express grief.  If for no other reason, than that this little piece of essence has been unloved by you for all of this time, and the grief over this will need to be expressed.  So, what you need to know is that you will need to turn over your body to that younger you, and allow that younger piece of essence to use your body to express its grief over its abandonment.

    Now you don’t have to do this in public.  Though there have been a few times when I have broken up in public, I prefer to go through this grief expression in the privacy of my bedroom.  But go through it you must, because that’s just part and parcel to the process.

    And it’s hard, because we as men have been horribly shamed for any expression of grief as this has been seen as unmanly, by other usually older men.  And while you don’t want to burst into tears every time you take a punch, because, let’s face it, as a man in our competitive society we get punched in the belly on a regular basis.  No, in these cases you need to just suck it up, roll with the punch and move on.  But if you can’t grieve the loose of a wife, a child, a brother, a parent, a best friend, or even a dog or a cat, then I say you Sir, you are not a man, you are a coward who will not face your own shame around grieving of a legitimate loss.  And if that’s the case, well, you lose.  You will not succeed in this process of healing your unconscious mind.

    Now, understand I don’t have any real musical abilities whatsoever, except I might be able to work out a tune on the harmonica.  But what I found for myself is that an cheap nylon string guitar helped a lot when it came to triggering the grief that I have been holding in my auric field.  I would sit in my bedroom and simply strum a few cords here and there.  I never learned to play more than a song or two, but the vibration of the strings seemed to resonate with the pain and suffering that I was holding. 

    This was especially true with the minor cords. A-minor, C-minor, G-minor, E-minor, and D-minor, seemed to bring up the tears from the bottom of my being.  So, sometimes for hours I would simply strum these cords until I felt triggered. 

    Then I would find myself crying into a pillow, sometime to such good effect that I would soak the damn thing.  I also found it useful to stuff a washcloth into my mouth while doing these exercises.  Often times it would double as a snot rage.  Yep, I’ve spent several thousand hours over the last twenty years, moving grief.  But then that was before I found the reframe.  Hopefully, with this tool, the path will be easier for you to tread.

    I guess the last point I need to make here is about the shame we sometimes feel when we express volatile emotions in front of other men.  You’re going to have to get over that.  I’ve done it and you can too, all it takes is self-esteem and a willingness to not care what other people might be thinking about you.

    I remember a time when I was in this locals bar in Ridgway, Colorado.  It’s pretty in the summertime and I spent a couple of summers up there.  I had been going to this bar for a while to suck down a beer here and there because I preferred being around locals, rather than the omnipresent tourists.  It was an interesting place in that this town has a lot of real working cowboys.  Yeah, they ride horses, muck out the stalls, round up cattle for market, and all that good stuff that you’ve only seen in John Wayne movies and other westerns.  They still do that stuff on the Western Slope of Colorado.  And it was a pleasure for me to drink with these men and women who enjoy that lifestyle.

    One day I struck up a conversation with this young man who asked me if I had been accepted by these locals who also frequented this bar.  He seemed to think that it was important to be accepted.  I said something like, well, they’re willing to talk to me, so I guess I’m accepted, and I let it go at that.  But you know, in looking back at that experience, what I see was really my truth, is that it never occurred to me to care about whether I was accepted by them or not.  Later, I looked at me and my attitude towards life and the people around me, and I realized that I legitimately and authentically do not care what anyone in the whole of this universe thinks about me, not even Spirit, God on High.

    My attitude is pretty straightforward, I am who I am, I like me, and you will either like me or you won’t.  But I will not sacrifice my integrity, change or alter my behavior to acquire the approval of anyone on this planet.  This is because at the core of who I am, I don’t care what anyone on this planet might think about me.  And you know what that’s called folks?  Self-esteem.

In the Face of Rage

    I was sitting on a stool at the bar twirling a half-empty schooner of Budweiser, lazily watching the moisture build a ring around the base of the glass.  This was a neighborhood bar populated mostly by construction workers; roofers, welders, framers and such.  It looked pretty run-down and was, in fact, a moderately rough hangout.  It was getting late that Friday night and the place was packed with merrymaking, mostly male, patrons.  I ignored them all.

    I was busy thinking, mostly about sex.  I sat there running fantasy after fantasy with a little reminiscing here and there.  Though, if the truth be known, I didn't have a lot to reminisce about, and that weighed heavily on my shoulders.  So I sat there daydreaming, trying to avoid the ever-present feelings of inadequacy, failure and the fear that I would never get it right.  After all, I was twenty-two years old, and I still hadn't figured out how to get myself laid.

    The bartender passed by and I signaled him with my index finger that I needed a refill.  A moment later he returned with a fresh brew, taking a dollar from the stack in front of the glass.  No words were spoken.  I barely had to withdraw from my reverie, which suited me just fine.

    I was a bit annoyed when a commotion began over by the pool table, behind me and to my left.  Two men were yelling at each other and I looked over my shoulder to see what was going on.  It was only a verbal argument so far.  Both were big men.  One was tall and skinny, maybe six-foot-two and one-ninety.  The other was about the same height but easily weighed in at two-twenty, all muscle.

    Cool, we could have a real fight here, I thought, feeling a certain excitement, as I watched these two men provoke one another.  Then I grabbed my beer and spun around in my seat to watch the show.  I didn't have to wait long.  Indeed, I almost missed the opening action by going after my beer.

    The big man began to walk away when Skinny picked up his pool cue, shifted his hands to the narrow end, and took a vicious swing at the back of the other man's head.  The big guy barely saw it coming in time and stepped into the cue, taking it high on his right shoulder.  The cue broke about two feet from the end and went flying onto a table smashing a half-empty pitcher of beer, to the stunned horror of the people sitting there.  Had that blow connected, the big guy's brains would have been splattered all over the gawking spectators.  I was shocked silly, as I realized that this was no friendly fight.

    Something broke in the big guy at that moment.  Mere anger was swept away, as a completely congruent rage enveloped the man.  He jumped after Skinny, dragging him to the floor where they rolled around a bit.  It was only a moment before the big guy got the advantage.  WHAM!  A crushing blow to the face.  Another and again.  Then the big guy slammed his fist into Skinny's solar plexus.  Whoosh, went the air from his lungs.  He jumped up, straddled Skinny's body, and grabbed that man by the shirt.  Then he literally picked him up and threw him six feet to the wall.  Skinny smashed into the wall and slid down onto his butt, gasping for breath.

    But the big guy was not through.  He grabbed Skinny by the collar and began smashing his head into the stucco surface of the wall.  After three or four brain smashing blows, Skinny wasn't feeling anything anymore.  But the big guy continued in his rage, again and again bashing Skinny's head into the wall.  Unconscious, Skinny looked like a rag doll in the hands of King Kong.

    As the big guy yanked Skinny's head back to smash it again, I could see a circle of blood on the wall.  It was an inch in diameter at first, and then two, and then three.  It was then I realized that the big guy was not going to stop until Skinny was dead, or he ran out of strength, which was not likely. 

    He's going to kill this man, I thought, knowing that I was about to witness a murder.  I looked around the bar.  Maybe fifty people were watching this scene, and I realized that no one was going to lift a finger to save Skinny's life.

    Well, somebody has to do something!  I screamed, inside my head.  I was halfway across the room before I realized I had left my chair.  I was terrified when I realized what I was about to get myself into.  But I continued on anyway while desperately searching for the right approach.  When I arrived, I stooped down next to the big man about a foot from his face.

    "STOP IT!" I screamed, as loud as I could.  He looked up at me with a glaze of rage over his eyes and an expression that said, "Leave me alone, you ignorant little twerp!"  Then ignoring me, he went back to making mush out of Skinny's head.

    "STOP IT!  LOOK AT ME!"  I screamed again.  The big guy paused.  I caught his eyes, and found myself looking into the coal-black eyes of a pitiless rage.  The rest of the world ceased to exist for me in that moment.  And with a massive intensity of my own, I said, "I have no idea what the hell your beef is, and I don't care.  But there is no way that I'm going to sit still and allow you to kill this man!  Not in my presence!  Not tonight!"  I paused, still terrified and searching for just the right thing to say.  I certainly didn't want to be taking Skinny's place.

    "And I don't think you really want him dead either," I said in a lower voice, jam packed with intensity.  "For that would be murder."

    On the word murder, the glossiness over his eyes went away.  And I realized that I was no longer dealing with rage, but only a very intense anger.  "You've won!"  I said quietly,  but very intensely.  "It's over!"  I could see that he wanted to go fully back into his rage, but fear had made its presence known somewhere within him.  I pressed my advantage.

    "You've won.  It's over," I repeated.  "Let this man go!"  Anger, confusion, guilt, and fear all flickered across the big man's face, like a light bulb about to go out.  "You've won.  It's over!  I suggest that you leave," I said.  "Now!"

    The big man looked at his victim, then back at me.  Then he took Skinny's head one more time and slammed it up against the wall, releasing his hands.  Then he turned and glared at me for a moment.  I winced internally with the fear that Skinny would not survive that blow.  But I allowed no change in the expression on my face, as I looked that angry man strait in the eyes.  Then the big guy turned away from me, rose to his feet, and strode quickly but very deliberately out of the bar.

    Suddenly I heard voices again, though subdued.  And music filtered back into my consciousness, as I became aware that it was over for me too.  I glanced at Skinny to see that he was still breathing.  I was too emotionally exhausted to do anything more.

    Let someone else worry about him.  I didn't much care about him.  I just didn't want to see him dead.

    As I rose to my feet, I began to feel the effects of the adrenaline pumping through my system.  My knees were wobbly.  They didn't seem to want to lock properly.  The ten or twelve steps back to my seat were a definite struggle.  By the time I sat down I was shaking all over.  I drank down my almost-full beer in a single gulp to try to calm my nerves and help to hide the fact that I was quaking in my boots.  The bartender brought me another beer, taking no money in return.

    After a few moments I got control of myself and I glanced back to see what had happened to Skinny.  He was gone.  Apparently somebody had helped him.  The blood was still there on the wall though, a four inch circle with a couple of drips, like a bad paint job.  A couple of other beers materialized in front of me.  I accepted them as my due.  After all, there was no doubt that I had saved Skinny's life and kept the big man from going to jail for murder.

    When the adrenaline ran itself down and I began to feel normal again, I put the whole affair behind me.  And as I sat there sucking down the spoils of war, I began to consider with renewed enthusiasm the really important things in life.  So, I thought, how do I go about getting myself laid anyway?

Rage

    In these next few sections, I’ll be talking in depth about how to go about healing rage and terror.  You see, you either move through your rage until you find your terror, or you move through your terror until you find your rage.  My intuition says that the held energy in your rage will exactly match the energy in your terror.  It’s like they have to balance one another.  My own experience was that I went through the rage first, so that’s how I’m going to put it here, but it could be either way, it depends on you. 

    My recommendation, however, is that you get some experience dealing with other easier emotions and instances of shame, before you even think of going into these feelings.  They are so intense, that I suggest you wait until you are a year or two into the process with at least two thousand reframes under your belt before you attempt to address these kinds of issues; rage and terror.  It’s best to prepare for battle, before you find yourself in one.

    Anyway, that scene above happened some thirty years ago, and is indeed a true story.  At that time I was a twenty-one year old Marine Corps Corporal and though I was fit as a fiddle, I would have been no match for the Big Guy.  Hell, he had sixty or seventy pounds on me, for I weighed in at around one-fifty at that time. 

    If I had made one wrong move, like touching that man with just so much as a single finger, I’m sure I would have had my head handed to me.  And I’m equally sure that no one in that bar that night would have lifted a finger to help me.  I don’t know how I did it, but I seemed to know just the right things to say, and just the right things to do, and how to behave in that situation.  Today, I can look back and say that I intuited my way through that experience.

    What I see now is that the reason I was able to win over the Big Guy that night was where I was coming from, as I was speaking to him.  I had seen what Skinny had done to him with that pool stick, and I agreed that the Big Guy had the right to kick that Son of a Bitches little ass.  The key here is that I was respectful, while at the same time being almost as intense as he was in that moment.  I was also able to hide my fear until later, which was a good thing for me because showing my fear in that moment would have been received with distain.

    Still the key to dealing with rage is to be respectful of the essence that is expressing the rage, which is easy enough to do when you realize that people do not get enraged for no reason.  This has been a brutal planet over the last three hundred years and we all have hundreds if not thousands of ancestral memories that will evoke a rage when they come up for healing.  These feelings can also be triggered by events happening in the current moment, making it very easy to overreact to a current situation.

    Whether you are male or female in this lifetime, you still have 1023 male lifetimes of ancestral memories that go back for around three hundred years.  It is certain that many of these lifetimes if not most will contain memories of wars and battles, as conscription was normal practice in those days gone by.  We also have memories of battles galore, visions of death and destruction, pictures of wives being burned alive or hanged as witches, children being killed in front of their parents, parents being killed in front of their children, lashings, rapes and molestations, and even simple things like people being disrespectful of you or spitting in your face, both figuratively and literally. 

    The point is that whether you know it or not, we all carry a lot of rage around with us in our auric fields.  And Folks, at some point you are going to have to face that rage within you.  It’s best if you can face it within you, rather than having to face an external reflection, as I did that night long ago.  I’ve used punching bags, and a little piece of hose that I would use to beat up a tree.  The tree can take it. 

    What this is really about is getting the emotion moving in a safe space where you can allow it to fully express, while you are respectful and loving it exactly the way it is.  You see that rage in you is a little part of you, a little piece of consciousness, that to date you have not loved.  And it is likely that the rage does not like you, for you have pushed it out of your consciousness and sent it into a kind of prison, if not out into another body. 

    It’s important to get the understanding that the rage we are holding has a lot of good information to teach us.  But until we can express it in a safe manner we are unable to assimilate those understandings.  The primary reason, at least for me, was that I had been shamed via the institutions of family, church, and state for expressing any kind of anger.  And so, I had an internal belief that to express anger in any form would make me unworthy of love.  As such, whenever anger or rage would raise its head within my being I would tend to stuff it down and suppress it as quickly as possible.  If you do this too, well, understand it’s a bad habit that you’ll need to break.

    I suggest that you start by doing several reframes over the shame around rage expression.  This will free you up to express your anger, though you might want to do this privately at first.  Just remember, try not to get physical with anyone during those times.  The goal here is to do what I did with the Big Guy, get a little bit of the light of reason into the rage.  And that’s a difficult thing to do.  Once you can get a little bit of light into that darkness, it will lighten up, express a little more freely, and with a little less vigor, which will allow you to get a little more light into that rage consciousness.  It’s a process that will take time.  It’s like letting steam out of the pressure cooker a little at a time, which is to say over multiple rage healing sessions.

    When you’re in the middle of the rage, and hopefully beating up a tree or a punching bag, you need to remain aware and cognizant in the back of your head, while letting the rage have its head, so to speak.  In other words, be respectful, let it take over your body, while keeping the reins loose.  Let it express as it wishes, as long as it doesn’t seek to hurt someone else.  And in that moment, listen to what it has to say.  You will be amazed at the words that come out of your mouth in those moments.  Your rage has a lot to teach you about how you really feel, of which you are currently completely unaware.

    It’s an interesting process and a hell of a roller coaster ride, Folks.  This is the hard part.  I wish you luck in your process Boys and Girls.  When you get to this level you’re going to need all the well wishing you can get.  Again, I never said it was going to be easy, only that you can do it if you are willing to persevere.

The Rage
Over Shame Induction

    We had been in one of those knock-down drag-out fights, well, it was mostly her raging at me, for all manner of different failings that she perceived.  It was long ago and I don’t recall the reason for that particular fight, or what triggered it, the original complaint.  She had so many complaints against me, it could have been any of a number of things.

    She had left, to go do something, probably shopping with my money because she refused to work.  So, I found myself in the back yard, sulking after the fight.  I was smoking, drinking a beer and pacing back and forth, reflecting on the fight, the things that were said, and my feelings about that.  As I continued to sulk, I began to become more and more angry with that woman, until I finally reached a point where I would have sworn that I was about to explode in a fearsome rage.

    Then I noticed a picnic bench near the detached garage.  It was identical to the ones we had brought with us to this house, but it was there when we arrived.  It was built quite sturdily, six feet long with two 2x6’s, and one 2x2 between them for a seat.  Then it had a pair of X shaped 2x4 legs with a 2x4 that went from the center of the X to the seat.  At both ends was a 2x2 cross brace that secured the legs to the seat.  Another 2x2 cross brace spanned the seat in the center.  So, you get the picture, it was quite well built.

    Well, I looked at that bench, realized that we had one more bench than we needed and that this one was disposable.  So, seething in my anger soon to become a full fledged rage, I strode to the detached garage opened the door, and looked around until I found the garden pick axe.  This was not really an axe, it was meant for digging up hard soil, with a one inch vertical blade and a four inch horizontal when looking down from the handle.  Still, in that moment it was just what the doctor ordered. 

    I went back to the back yard and pulled that bench to the middle of that forty by fifty foot back yard area.  Then I picked up that axe and using the small vertical blade hauled off and slammed it into one of the 2x6’s intending to split it down the middle.  It didn’t split and that pissed me off even more and I went berserk, wham, wham, wham, several blows in succession until I was out of breath.  It still hadn’t split, but I could see I was getting close.  I took a breather and then went at it again, and again, and again, as I found some true acceptance for my rage and allowed it to express freely in this way.  It felt so damn good to destroy that bench.

    At some point my rage began to express verbally as I muttered, “God damn bitch, I can’t do anything that’s good enough for her!”  I growl like a grizzly bear while making kindling of the bench.  “If I do something or try to help her out she finds fault because I didn’t do it good enough to suit her.”  Smash, crash, bang.  “If I do nothing, and let her do it her way, she finds fault, saying that I’m not doing my part.”  Splinters flying through the air.  “If I smoke in the house, she says she can’t stand the smell and freezes me out with windows wide open in the winter.”  Search and destroy, smash and splinter that damnable bench, well, what used to be a bench.  “I can’t do anything good enough for her, the stupid, brain dead ignorant cunt, and she isn‘t even working.” Growl, smash, crunch, bang.  “I’m out there slaying dragons while she’s draining all my resources, living high on the hog and blaming me for not being good enough for her!  That’s gotta take the cake, you fucking bitch!”  More kindling production.

    This raging, cursing, and physical expression in destroying that bench went on for something like two hours.  And the more accepting I was of my rage, the more true understanding I heard exiting my mouth, during that process.  It’s amazing what our rage has to teach us about how we really feel.  But you’ll never get to see these understandings if you can’t accept your rage.

    I was huffing and puffing trying to get myself up top a little more rage expression when the back door opened and she looked out upon the backyard.  I had done a pretty good job on that bench by that time, and it was strewn all over the yard in hundreds of pieces.  There was no piece larger that 2x2x6 inches.  Actually I was kind of proud of my work that day.  I had done a thorough job.

    I looked at her and said simply, “I was pissed.”  She gave me a look, rolled her eyes and without saying anything went back into the house.  But when I received that look the shame shroud wrapped itself around me like a hug from a grizzly bear, shutting down all of my rage.  I wanted to cry, but I felt shamed for that too, and so was unable to find a place to stand that felt comfortable to me.  Well, it didn’t matter, at least I was able to let a little steam off and get a little light into the rage.  But you know what, as a result of that look, I promptly forgot all the true understandings my rage was trying to teach me.  You see, I was ashamed of being enraged at my woman and so I pushed it back into it’s coffin somewhere in my auric field.

    When you’re in a relationship with a shaming shrew, it happens over time, the agreements to create your Self as a being who is not worthy of self love, God ‘s love or her love.  You’re bad for not doing the dishes, you’re wrong for not putting down the toilet seat.  You’re bad for wearing crumpled cloths, you’re wrong for believing in yourself and desiring to take a chance.  You’re bad for forgetting her birthday, you’re wrong for thinking you deserve any private time.  You’re bad for wanting to watch porn, you’re wrong if you think she is responsible for sex in the relationship.  You’re bad for wanting to be a sexual being, and you’re wrong if you think you deserve affection. And so on, and so on, and so on.

    Each time she (I use she here though the shame inductor could be male), gets you to agree that you are bad or wrong and you buy into her assertion by saying “You’re right, Honey,” out of your love for them, the whole of the Universe says, “Okay,” and you just fucked yourself.  Each time you say “You’re right, Honey,” you are agreeing to create your Self as a being who is unworthy of love, as a being who hates himself.  You are giving her power over you and it feels like somebody put a #10 hook into your solar plexus or your yellow chakra.  It’s a hook tied to a fishing line connected to her hands that she can tug on any time thereafter reminding you of your agreement of just how bad and wrong you are in her eyes.  And you know what?  We go into agreement here saying, “You’re right, Honey,” because we love them.

    Over time this experience can become almost unbearable, so unbearable that I’m sure that many people have chosen suicide rather than to have to live in that perpetual state of self-loathing, pain and suffering.  But you see, this is the shame inductor’s modus operandi, their way of obtaining power over you, they make you feel like shit about yourself.  They take advantage of your love for them, so they can steal your light from the Object Beam, sucking off of you like a black widow spider.

    If you’re in a years long relationship with a shaming shrew you can accumulate thousands upon thousands of agreements to create your Self as bad and wrong.  And every time you come in contact with that person it will feel like she is pulling on those cords, twisting your guts into a Gordian Knot while gleefully enjoying her power over you, and her ability to force you to do what she wants, so that you can avoid a little bit of the pain and suffering of being around her.  If this scenario sounds familiar to you, you are almost certainly Body Polarized.
   
    Okay, jump ahead about ten or twelve years.  I’m now living on Maui, up the hill in a three bedroom ranch house with an attached garage, up the hill in a town called Kula, which wasn’t really a town at all, and hanging out with my shaming shrew.  This relationship had gone on for some eighteen years and life was getting pretty miserable, with tens of thousands of little fish hooks embedded in my belly.  Every time I would get around this women it would feel like my guts were being twisted into knots.  I was indeed a slave, and life was not worth living, but I didn’t know what to do.

    I had been kicked out of her bed and forced to sleep in the guest room, as from her point of view, sex was out of the question.  One morning I woke around 4:00am and I went out to the garage where I could smoke.  Yeah, I was still smoking back then.  I made myself some coffee, smoked a few cigarettes and paced back and forth, pondering my situation and my life. 

    The more I thought about it, the more pissed I became.  Actually, if the truth were to be known I was living with a caldron of suppressed rage buried deep inside me.  That morning the rage boiled up to the surface.  I had all kinds of fantasies that day, that included several different methods of suicide.  I have this really great Case hunting knife, and I thought about doing the seppuku thing in the driveway. But cutting a three inch deep vertical and then horizontal slit in my belly letting my guts finally flow free onto the pavement, well, that idea lost it’s appeal pretty quick, though it was fun to ponder.  Then I thought of using my knun-chucks to press against the arteries of the neck, wrap the ends with some bailing wire and go to sleep forever. 

    The more I ranted there in that garage the more rage I began to feel, until it reached a crescendo.  I had to have sex in order to have desire for life.  Life without sex was not worth living and she was no longer there for me.  So, I began to fantasize about pulling a rape, suicide scenario, tie her up rape her good, and then kill myself; bye Bitch.

    Then something happened, and all of the sudden the rage left me, and I felt fine again.  I think God may have intervened, but it was at that moment that I became genuinely willing to dump the babe and get myself out of that unbearable situation, which was a good thing or you wouldn’t be reading these words right now.

    I guess the point here is that as long as you are around your shaming shrew, it will be nearly impossible for you to heal.  If you want to heal, you’re going to have to dump you’re Al’Anon.  I know that’s a difficult choice, especially if you have children.  But you’re never going to feel good, as long as you’re in bed with the preying mantis.

    Also, there are all kinds of things that these people shame us for, it’s not just for our sexuality.  They shame us for being warriors, and they even shame us for simply being male.  They hate us and they want to punish us for the pain and suffering that they are too cowardly to face within themselves, and they do it with a smile on their face, while pretending to love us.

    But you know what?  I still love her, even though I now see her as a shame inducting shrew, because Love for All That Is, is Love for All That is and All That is includes the Al’Anon and the black widow spider.

Terror

    Folks, while I’m going to talk about this now, please understand that you are not ready to go here yet.  You will know when you are.  But I highly recommend that you wait until you have cleared the bulk of all the other stuff that we have hanging out in our auric fields before you move into rage and terror.  I’m deadly serious here, I’ve gone there and I know the depth of the problem.  If you go there before you are truly ready, you might not survive the experience.  So take note. 

    You must train like a warrior, with three to five reframes a day, until you have confidence that you know what you are doing with this work.  And that will mean that you have at least two years and two thousand reframes under your belt before attempting to deal with terror.  You can read about it, but please, don’t go there until you are truly ready, trained and steeled with fortitude. 

    I had been separated from my wife for a couple of months, living in a little two bedroom house in Makawao, Maui.  I was still in terrible pain, from all the shame induction I had experienced over the years, but at least I had my own space, the reframe and I was beginning a genuine healing process. 

    I had been doing emotional release workshops and exercises for the previous fifteen years, trying to heal my emotional body.  But with the only tools being to try to fully express the emotion, well, sometimes it worked and sometimes it just created more trauma that had to be dealt with later.  Nonetheless, I had made significant progress during those years, and at this point in my life I was mostly dealing with the toughest emotions, rage and terror, but mostly rage. 

    Having been given the reframe, I was able to move through the rage relatively quickly, because I had acceptance for my rage, and had much previous experience expressing it.  However, the idea of going into my terror was, shall we say, terrifying?  I was split in two, part of me demanded that we go there because we could not produce a true healing in the emotional body until that was healed.  Another part of me had an intuitive understanding of what that process would be like and clearly did not want to go there. 

    I waffled back and forth for weeks, while doing other ancillary reframes, always working around the real problem, terror.  One day I got so pissed off at myself for my own cowardice in this matter that I became consumed by my rage which dragged me into the bathroom where I looked myself in the eyes deep into my soul and with a rage backed intensity said, “Feel your terror!  Feel your terror!  FEEL YOUR TERROR!” 

    There is something magical about say the same thing tree times with vigorous intent.  I don’t know what it is, but it does seem to bring the energy in the phrase being spoken to a focal point, creating a reality much more powerfully than a single utterance.

    Well, I was still a bit disgusted with myself, as I mossied out onto the decking to have a smoke.  Yeah, I know, I was still a smoker back then in the summer of 2002.  I paced back and forth, pondering my situation and my process, when suddenly I became filled with the most incredible super-luminal light that you can imagine, and I lit up like a star in the night.  Old Sol himself would have been envious of the brightness of my light at that moment.  I was awestruck as I realized that I loved everyone, with nothing held back.  In that moment I genuinely experienced infinite compassion, and infinite love for all things under the sun.  I realized that I was God, and I was stunned.

    After I got over my awe, I realized that I felt more powerful and present in the moment than I had ever felt in this lifetime that I can remember.  It felt so good to be so loving.  Anyway, I decided that I would like to get out in the world for a bit and be around people.  You see, while I was going through most of this process at that time I had sequestered, mostly staying at home, and away from people. 

    So, I got in my truck, a Ford Ranger at the time, and began a trip to theis place called Keiki Beach in Paia.  Keiki means child in Hawaiian, and this was a locals beach, out of the way that tourists rarely find.  It has a beautiful little lagoon perhaps two hundred yards long and thirty yards wide, with calm waters protected by a coral reef, and not more than five feet deep.  I wanted to go there to soak in some of the saltiest water on the planet outside the Dead Sea, and just to experience being around people.  I was just so happy.

    All that changed when I pulled onto Makawao Avenue.  I was almost to Haleakala Highway, when three Cop cars passed me going the other direction sirens a blare and way over the speed limit. 

    All of the sudden, I lost my reverie and fell into a space of abject terror.  Something in me was sure that they were going to my house and coming to kill me.  I was shining like the sun and they had noticed.  And so, my trip to Keiki Beach changed from a recreational trip to a quest for survival in an instant.  I was quaking in fear as I continued on my way.

    When I reached the beach parking lot, instead of going to the right where the sandy beach was I turned to the left and hiked over a beach strewn with slippery kelp covered boulders and rocks, a really uninviting place.  However, this was also an area where there were one acre lots of beachfront property, which is to say multi-million dollar houses with plenty of foliage.  I ran, I walked and stumbled my way down the beach, overwhelmed with terror welling up within me.  I had to get away from those who would see me dead.

    About five hundred yards down this rocky beach I found a place where the vegetation was thick and deep and provided a kind of a cave within which I could hide.  I crawled back in and under these bushes, perhaps twenty feet, and lay down upon a thick layer of dead leaves, quivering in terror and hiding from my perceived attackers.

    I was sure they were out to torture me, and kill me in the most hideous ways.  The boys that run this planet are ruthless beyond belief and would not tolerate the existence someone who realized that they were God.  Many memories came back to me as I lay there in those bushes.  Memories of being burned alive, memories of being impaled, memories of being drawn and quartered, and memories of being disemboweled. 

    I was thoroughly terrified and barley able to think or function in the presence of this level of terror.  So I prayed to God and the mother.  In time I was able to do several reframes of the pictures that kept surfacing in my minds eye.  But there were so many of them that any one reframe seemed to have little effect on my overall experience. 

    Then a new dimension was added.  A helicopter flew right over my hiding place and suddenly I knew that they were looking for me and probably using infrared detection equipment to locate where I was hiding, and my terror went to astronomical heights.  I then started to bury my body in the decaying leaf matter, hoping that the heat radiating from this decaying matter would somehow cover up my infrared footprint.  I was terrified, but I continued to do reframes. 

    I lay there buried in leaves under a bush on that beautiful day on Maui for about four hours doing reframes and praying to God, before I was able to get hold of myself and realize that I had probably made all this shit up.  At which point I left my cave, walked back to my truck, drove home and downed a twelve-pack of Budweiser.  Oh, I think I might have taken a shower too.  Yep, that was one hell of a day, in early June 2002.

    But that wasn’t the end of the experience by any means.  I spent the next four months moving through the terror in my ancestral and past life memories.  Rarely did a day go by that I wasn’t compelled to reframe some terrifying memory that arose from the depths of the past.  You see, I started off by amercing myself in my terror on that first day, as my Higher Self or God lit me up.  But the reframes that I did that day and thereafter, brought into my auric field a tremendous amount of super-luminal light, which caused more and more of the traumatized children I was carrying to wake up and hand me their terror.  It was like peeling an onion, the further down I went the more terror I found. 

    To say the least this whole process was very painful and frightening.  I was reframing twenty or even thirty terrifying memories a day, plus all the earlier similar memories.  For most of the rest of the day, I found myself in meditation transmuting the energy in those memories.  It was interesting for me that while the transmutation of rage was experienced by me as an exaggerated body heat, the transmutation of terror was experienced as an electrical bolt of energy moving through my body.  There were days when I experienced these healings hundreds of times per day during my meditations.

    Eventually, I came to a place of confidence with respect to my ability to heal the emotional content in my terror.  I would feel it coming on, and I would say to myself that it’s okay.  It’s just more fear and I know how to deal with that.  Feel into it deeply enough to locate the memory, reframe the terrifying memory itself.  Then use that memory as an anchor memory to heal all the earlier similar memories that I’m holding in my body.  Then do more meditation to transmute the emotional energy in those memories.

    It took four months for me to move through enough terror, so that I could build a place to stand within the emotional body.  It was like the earlier metaphor I used about sticking your hand through two feet of snow to touch the ground and then pushing against the snow to widen the space until you could step into that area and stand firmly upon terra firma. 

   After those first four months I had created a place to stand where I could breath easy for a little bit, but the task was not over.  During that time I was under a constant threat of being terrified.  The walls of snow were still too close to fell truly safe.  So, I had to continue to keep pushing them back to create ever more space for my existence.  It took me nearly two full years to move through enough terror in my meditations, to begin to feel comfortable in my body again.

    This is a good metaphor for this healing process, because we have to do this for all four of our bodies, the physical, the emotional, the spiritual, and the mental bodies.  We need to create a place to stand where we can feel safe and comfortable in each of these places within ourselves.

    I realized I was God in June of 2002.  During the following four months I was releasing incredible amounts of super-luminal light as a result of my reframes and meditations.  One thing I’ve noticed is that a person who is lit up can see other people who are also lit up, you just know.  For me, life was so painful at that time that I didn’t want o prolong the process, so I going all out to complete it as soon as possible.  I’ll tell you folks, by September, I was shining so much light from my being, that no healer or energy worker could miss me.

    So an amazing thing happened in October of that year.  Four of the best and most renowned energy working Healers in this world showed up on Maui within two weeks of one another.  As far as I know they did not go to the other islands, just to Maui, where I was doing this work of healing my terror. 

    There was Howard Wills from North Carolina, Bagavan Das and his group from India, A man who’s name I’ve forgotten, by he was a native tribesman from Australia, and Tilak originally from Sri Lanka, but then living in Las Vegas.  I went to their workshops and did private sessions with a Howard and Tilak.  This I hooked up with Tilak and did some work with him over the next two years.  Hey, if you ever get the chance to work with any of these people, take the opportunity, you won’t be disappointed.

The Archetypal Defense Strategies

    There was a phrase that I used to hear frequently from my father, he would say to me “Don’t do what I do, do what I say do.”  It infuriated me as a child, as he would never give me any reasonable justification for him taking that stance and so, I would invariably ignore his direction and follow his lead, because after all, I wanted to be cool just like Daddy.

   Well, in retrospect I wished I had followed his direction in a few things at least, like not taking up smoking and not shaving before it was my time and allowing myself to have my childhood instead trying to rush myself to be a man.  Daddies aren’t always stupid, though arrogance does seem to be a common trait.

    I mention that because that’s exactly what I need to communicate to you with respect to these archetypal defense strategies.  “Don’t do as I did, do as I say do.”  But unlike my father, I’m going to explain why because whether you believe it or not I really do love you and I would give you an easier path if I you will accept it.  And I can give you an easier path because I‘m looking at the process from the other side and I can see better places to forge this river than the one I took.

    You see, I was stupid.  I’m a Software Engineer by trade, and over the years I’ve developed a modus operandi for how to deal with software development projects.  My strategy was to determine up front any areas of ambiguity or things that were not known and resolve those things first.  The second thing was to determine the hardest part of the project and do that first, even if it meant working overtime to get my arms completely and totally around the project.  Once the hard part was done, then I could sandbag through the middle of the project, doing the easy stuff into the end.  Then if I came in a few days or even a week early because I was really done a few weeks prior, then everybody was happy and congratulations were always in order.

    While that approach may work fine in software development, it does not work when doing this work.  I took that approach and went to the hardest stuff first, these archetypal defense strategies and nearly had my head handed to me   So, please, don’t do as I did, do as I say do. 

    Please understand that you are not ready to go here until you have dealt with terror and explosive rage and have had some experience and have some confidence that you can successfully deal with healing that level of emotional expression.  Because, I promise you, in dealing with the defense strategies you will need these skills.

    For me, I went there within four weeks of learning the reframe.  I was stupid beyond belief, but hell, I had no one to show me the way and I was just stumbling around in the dark doing the best I could.  I survived.

    There will come a time when you will have to go there.  I suspect that will be one to two years into the process when you have at least two thousand reframes under your belt and are confident that you know how to deal with the deeper issues.  I expect that you’ll know when the time is right.  Spend the time in the interim, Soldier, training on smaller less difficult issues.  Train, train, train, and master the skills needed to win at this most difficult task.

    When you’re ready, go out and buy this book called Hands of Light, by Barbara Brennan.  This book is a Spirit Polarized perspective on the process of healing by the laying on of hands, which means that since it comes from a Spirit Polarized point of view, the book itself is not going to be too valuable for us since we come from the equal and opposite perspective. 

    However, there is one section Chapter 13 that discussed these archetypal defiance strategies in great depth and in great detail.  There are five of them, called the schizoid, oral, psychopathic, masochistic and rigid defense strategies.  When the time comes you will need to look at each of these defenses, determine which apply to you, locate the anchor memory that put them in place for you and reframe those memories.

    Those reframes will open up an energy path all the way back to your birth, and your youth when you were still connected to God directly.  It’s a beautiful thing, but there is a price to pay, and you need to be ready to pay that price.  Train, Soldier, train, with three to five reframes a day.

Pushing through the Shame Shroud
Around the Spiritual Body

    Well, you start at the beginning with sexual guilt and shame.  This is the beginning because nearly all the religions of the world are founded upon the induction of sexual guilt and shame into the populace so as to make them easier to control and be willing to do the bidding of those who run the Church.  It’s a profoundly effective way of stealing power from the people.

    Actually, if there is any such thing, this is the fun part of this healing process.  When you’re moving through the Fear Shroud the initial reframes actually feel good, as they release lot of light from the smaller traumas and it feels like a lightening up of the soul.  But later you realize that this was only creating space for you to move into the deeper stuff, eventually into manic terror and explosive rage.  It is the same here in the Shame Shroud.

    In the beginning, you’re dealing with smaller issues and it feels like a freeing up of space, and since we’re dealing with sexuality here for the most part, the process will undoubtedly release a significant amount of held back sexual energy, or what they call tumescence.  I suggest you do this beginning part thoroughly, as you are going to need to space created to go into the deeper stuff within the Shame Shroud. 

    You see, from my point of view the Fear Shroud and the Shame Shroud are the two most difficult pieces to get through, because the Will and Heart have both been attacked from both sides, as they exist between Spirit and Body.  The Guilt Shroud and Doubt Shroud, on the other hand, have only been attacked from one direction, which makes them somewhat easier to deal with.

    Here with the Shame Shroud, it begins with the fun stuff, and ends with the depths of self-hatred, seldom imagined by humankind.  So, prepare yourself young warrior to enter the Pit of Doom, by doing the early reframes thoroughly.

Clearing Sexual Guilt and Shame

    So, now we come back to the initial reframe that I presented in the introduction.  Let me begin by refreshing your memory of how this healing of sexual guilt and shame works to release trapped super-luminal light.  The following reframe provides the basis for the beginning of this step in the process.

    This process is intended to assist you in healing the sexual guilt and shame that we hold in our auric fields.  So again, I’d like you to locate in your mind a memory of an intimate encounter that was slightly unpleasant. 

    Now take a little time and make up a fantasy experience.  If you could have had this experience have gone however you wanted, how would you have had it be.  Make it up to be pleasant, make it up to be loving or sweet, make it up to be hot and passionate, whatever you want, it’s your fantasy.

    Next, pick a point in the drama that represents the whole of the drama for you, the point of greatest intensity, the point of maximum love feelings, or post-coital cuddling, whatever works for you.  Then take a photograph of you and your partner at that point and in your minds eye put a frame or a border around that picture of whatever colors come to mind.  The colors will just be there.  Your unconscious mind knows precisely the right colors to use.  Now, take that picture and move it outside your body and above your head.  Then let it drop down through your body from the top of your head to the soles of your feet, letting every cell of you body know that this new picture replaces that old picture.  And take all the time you need to do that.

    The next step is to go back to the original picture in your minds eye and modify it a bit.  The idea here is to place all the other younger versions of yourself who would like this picture to replace their intimate experience.  They’ll just be there, so stack them up one behind the other off into infinity behind yourself in the original picture.  The idea is that we’re going to remove the unpleasant feelings from all of these earlier-similar memories in one shot.  At this point you need to freeze the frame and put a new frame or border around the picture of whatever colors come to mind.  Repeat the process of moving the picture through your body from the top of your head to the soles of your feet taking as long as you need to do that.

    So that’s the reframe as was presented in the introduction.  At this point, since we’re going into depth now, I want to add two additional components. 

    The first is in the beginning reframe to see yourself asking God as you know Him or Her, either out loud or in your mind, to be powerfully present with you in that moment to bless and sanctify this experience that you and your partner are choosing to have at free will choice. 

    It’s a simple statement that I have used frequently.  “Mother/Father God, I ask that you be powerfully present with me to bless and sanctify this experience that we are choosing to have.”  It’s a simple prayer, that makes all the difference in the world, because this component of the reframe removes any possibility of the induction of any kind of shame whatsoever.

    The second component that I recommend here is something I’ve already spoken of earlier, which is to run the picture through an image of the planet, moving it back and forth a few times, before letting it go and plunge to the center of the Earth before expanding outward to permeate the auric field of the planet.  I’m sure you can understand the reasons for these two enhancements to this process.  We’re going a little deeper, folks.

    So, the first step in this process of punching through the Shame Shroud is to go back to every single intimate or sexual encounter that you have ever had in your lifetime, and reframe them to be maximally pleasurable and enjoyable.  Do this for every free-will encounter first.  Understand that this may take weeks or even months.  Don’t worry if at the present you cannot remember all your previous encounters.  As you heal the emotional content in the ones you can remember, the other earlier memories will surface like the pealing of an onion.  Keep your notebook handy, and write them down as they rise to the surface.  I suggest that you take whatever time you need to do a thorough job here.  You’re going to need the space created here to go further.

Rape, Sexual Extortion, and Undue Influence

    Once you have completed the above you will need to deal with those experiences that were not at free-will choice, or situations like rape, sexual extortion, or undue influence such as molestation.  And we all have hundreds of these memories in our ancestry.  Rape has been commonplace in any kind of maritime situation, and we all have warriors and rapists in our bloodlines.  We also have the victims of these situations, usually in our female lines, but young boys were not excluded from these realities. 

    There are also many different forms of rape that you are likely to see in the pealing of the onion.  At the light end, there is spousal rape, which wasn’t even considered rape until a few decades ago.  Hell, that was just normal, wives didn’t have a right to say no, it was their wifely duty.  So, no one even considered this as any kind of problem during the last three hundred years.  We all carry thousands upon thousands of memories of spousal rape. 

    Date rape is another related form that has come about since the sixties, especially in collages or universities.  During this period more and more young have chosen to attend these institutions, where they were more vulnerable being away from their families.

    Maritime rape has been a favorite form of rape over the centuries.  The Generals get the gold and the prettier women, while the soldiers got the lesser beautiful babes as a perk for their service in stealing other peoples lands.  And that was a major perk for the soldier on the field, because most of that cannon fodder would be Body Polarized men, and there is nothing more valuable to a Body Polarized man than a woman who does not have the right to say no.

    The rape of young boys has also been pretty commonplace throughout the last few centuries.  There have been situations of bully boys raping other weaker boys, and certainly men taking young boys into their bed for carnal carnage.  I have one memory of being an conscripted Irish youngster pressed into service upon a British Frigate, and from that memory, I can say from personal experience that they don’t call the British buggers for no reason.

    Then we can go to the depths of the abyss.  I remember one past life memory that came up in the process of doing this work.  I was the perpetrator raping this woman in a ditch somewhere a few centuries back, during horse and buggy times.  At the moment I had my orgasm, I slit the woman’s throat watching her eyes go glassy, as she died under me.  This was a revenge rape, I seem to have spent some time in a very bad jail situation as a result of betrayal from this woman.  So, I considered her rape and murder, as a just reward for what she had done to me in that lifetime.  It took a while and many reframes for me to come to emotional terms with this one.

    The point is that there are many different forms of rape, and each basic type has their own nuances, or variations on the theme.  Since we have thousands upon thousands of rape memories that we carry in our auric fields, we are likely to carry many different variations in need of separate types of reframes or forms of resolution.  You may need to get creative in designing your reframes for each situation you encounter in your process.  These are just some of the types of memories I have run across in my process that you might also have to deal with.

    Sexual extortion is also commonplace in our ancestral memories.  That‘s where the boy says to the girl, you will bend over and drop your knickers or I will run you through or beat you up, and she complies at free will choice.  It can also be a situation where a cabin boy on a ship at sea is told to get on his knees and suck this, or you can walk home from here.  But again, since he would comply at free will choice, this is what I call sexual extortion and not rape.  So while I have experienced these memories are traumatic in nature, they were not quite so traumatic in nature as a genuine rape situation.

    Undue influence situations are a little less traumatic than sexual extortion, but are still traumatic in nature and in need of reframing.  These include situations where the victim chooses to comply with the request without any direct coercion, usually out of their love or respect for the perpetrator, but would rather not have participated at all.  This one gets a little wishy-washy, as it may or may not be a legitimate perpetration.  But from the point of view of the healing process, if there is any held charge in either the victim or the perpetrator, then there is a need for a reframe.

    The most important thing that needs to be understood about all of these situations, is that it’s not the sex that is he problem, that thought is a misdirection.  It is the shame and the induction of shame into the victim that is the problem.  Shame is an agreement to create one’s Self as a being who is unworthy of love, or to say it another way it is self-hatred, pure and simple. 

    One of the things that happens during sex is that the auric field of the participants merge with one another allowing the shame held in the auric field of the older person to be passed on to the younger person in the encounter.  And this is the real problem in these situations. 

    The younger person ends up taking in that self-hatred, and walks away feeling dirty, defiled, unclean, disgusted with themselves and unworthy of love, and a feeling that they must have done something to deserve this punishment, when in point of fact they did nothing wrong themselves.  They were just holding a few pickle buckets full of sexual shame in their auric fields from their ancestral memories, that then drew this reality into their lives for the purpose of healing.

    So how do you go about reframing this crap?  Well, I’d like to start by saying that I had a difficult time of this and you probably will too.  I can give you some suggestions and share some of what I have done in my own right.  However, this will inevitably be related to my experiences, and I don’t know what experiences you might harbor in your auric field.  Your path may be easier or even more difficult than mine.  It is my hope that my experience will make your path easier, but we shall see.

    The bottom line understanding that I have come to is that you must love both the perpetrator and the victim, and that to do that you must find the memories on both sides of the experience that we’re trying to reframe.  When you can find compassion for both sides of the equation, then you can offer genuine forgiveness from the perpetrator to the victim, and from the victim to the perpetrator.  And it is the forgiveness that will lead to a true healing of the shame and emotions involved in these memories.

    The key here is to understand that no matter what sex you might be today, we all carry both sides of these issues in our ancestral memories.  If you’re female, then while you can probably understand and relate to the fear and the shame in the victims point of view, but you also have 1023 male ancestors many of which were perpetrators of a similar scenario.  And if you’re male, you can probably understand how shame induction and being backed up can drive a man to rape, but you also have 1023 female ancestors many of which many have likely experienced being the victim.  It’s an important understanding that if you want to really heal these issues within yourself, you must have both memories available and have true compassion for both sides.  Forgiveness is the key to healing these issues.

    There is an NLP trick that might be useful here.  NLP stands for this big word called Neuro-Linguistic Programming, which is really about programming people the way you would program computers, to get them to do what you want then to do, without their overt knowledge or awareness.  Though I was certified in NLP, I never felt good about it due to the inherent duplicity and deceit within the modality.  So, I just see it as an antiquated form.  If you want to know about NLP, I suggest you pick up Anthony Robins book, Unlimited Power, as it’s a layman’s introduction to NLP that we of the Body Polarity can easily relate to. 

    Though that modality was foundational to what I’m showing you here, what I’m doing is strait up and above board and much more sophisticated than that.  That said, there is this one little trick that was put forth there that when integrated with the reframe is very powerful, indeed.  Once you can accept both the perpetrator and the victim in a given memory, what you can do is picture the perpetrator in one hand palm face up.  Then picture the victim in the other hand, again palm face up.  Then picture both surrounded by loving white light that emanates from your palms.  Think or speak the words, let there be forgiveness on all sides, and slap your hands together sharply, then rub them back and forth together to make it so.  Next, click, take a picture of yourself in that moment, and you know what to do from there. 

    Some of these memories can get pretty difficult to deal with, especially the rape murder category.  In these cases you might need to do several levels of reframe, one after another.  For instance, if your approaching it from the victim’s point of view, you may start with the cavalry or police or father of boyfriend or whatever, showing up just in time and  saving the day.  That will alleviate the fear in the situation.  Then you might go back and see it as a show or a live sex act, with an audience who applauds at the end of the scene, t ultimately making it up to be a pleasurable experience rising like a Phoenix from the original heinous act. 

    The point is to take all the pain out of the memory, and eventually replace that old memory with one that will support you as you move into the future.

The Pit of Doom
Gay Sexuality

   I was sitting on the couch with my wife at the time in my mother-in-law’s house watching the news on TV.  It was getting close to dinnertime and my mother-in-law was cooking in the kitchen.  I think it must have been Gay Pride Week or something like that, because a story came on about a march that had taken place that day in San Francisco.

    Charlene, came around the corner, and with a angry venomous tirade berated these men in the parade in the television.  I don’t remember exactly what she said.  I was a little shocked at her response, so I looked at her and said, “What do you mean, Charlene?  Are you saying God hates Gay people?”  

    “Yes, absolutely,” she replied.  “The Bible says so.  Those men are degenerates, sick people.  And if they don’t change their ways, they’re going to hell!”  I took this in and laughed, uproariously, I couldn’t believe she was serious.  But she was, in fact, deadly seditious.  She was a long term Jehovah’s Witness.  And she is certainly not alone in that attitude.

    The reality is that Gay men are, without question the most unjustly hated people on the whole of this planet.  One point five billion Catholics hate them, and probably another five hundred million other Christian sects as well.  Another one point five billion Muslims hate them along with however many hundreds of millions of Hebrews.  Not only that, but because of our ancestral memories, I’m sure that there are hundreds of millions of secular people on this planet who unreasonably hate and fear Gay men.

    We are all Mini-mighty Gods, physically incarnate here on planet Earth, and when you get that much agreement, some four to five billion people shining blaming rage and hatred on a few hundred million Gay men, well, that creates a reality.  When these Gay men take this in as shame from their own parents, family and community, they go into an agreement with the hatred, which will then be experienced as self-hatred.  This is how AIDS got created, it is the Gay men themselves who are creating their vulnerability to this disease.  Hey, if you have five billion people on this planet who hate you pushing on you from the outside, plus all the hatred from your fundamentalist ancestors, family and community pushing on you from the inside, I say that’s likely to effect your immune system making you vulnerable to this disease. 

    I’d to say to homophobes of the world that if God is All That, and God hates Gay people, then we have a situation, where we are creating a Truth that says God hates God.  And you know what?  That’s exactly the problem that I see, when I look into what I am projecting into reality, from the lowest levels of the Pit of Doom.  This is what you will see when you punch through to the lowest levels of the shame shroud.  Then you can connect to the Spiritual Body within the Reference Beam and come to know true Self-Love.

    Not being Gay myself, I don’t have too many Gay experiences or anchor memories to draw upon to facilitate an healing in this area.  I do have a few, I haven’t exactly been cloistered.  The first of these memories had to do with childhood.  When our Aunts and Uncles would visit with their children, or our cousins my parents would often double the kids up in the same bed.  I remember once having sex young kids, five to eight years old sleeping in the same double bed, three at the bottom and three at the top.  But most times it would just be me and another male cousin in a single bed. 

    Well, two in a bed will often fool around and I did a little of that.  In looking back I don’t see this as being a whole lot different than playing Doctor, or I’ll show you mine if you’ll show me yours.  It was simply the kind of thing that all children can be expected to do, though it did require a reframe, which I did by simply blessing and sanctifying the experience in the name of God and on my own authority on behalf of that younger version of myself.

    Where does homophobia come from?  Fear that you might be Gay and not wanting to have to face the shame or massive self-hatred and or accept the hatred of five billion homophobic humans.  The energy on this issue is so intense for strait men, that many times Gay men have been killed, simply for being who they are, Gay.

    When I was discharged from the Marines in the early 80‘s, I moved to L.A. where I began participating in this organization called est.  Well, there were a lot of Gay men who also attended these workshops, and as such I was forced to be around them on a regular basis.  As you might expect, I was quickly pushed up against my own homophobia and the shame I was carrying within me.  One day, I decided the pressure was too much, and I decided to face my own fears. 

    So I went out and had two, Gay experience just to see if I might be Gay or not.  In the end I found out that while I appreciate the value of a three hole Babe, I am clearly not Gay.  I have a definite preference for the softer sex.  What these experiences did do for me, though was to purge any vestiges of homophobia from my system.  Never again would I feel uncomfortable around Gay men, for I know knew clearly where I stood.  I did do a few reframes, but they were easy, I simply brought God into the picture to bless and sanctify the experience entered into at free-will choice.

    I remember sitting at the bar in a restaurant in Lahaina on Maui.  The bartender was openly Gay and we ended up having a discussion about how one knows one is Gay.  To which he replied, you just know.  At one point in the conversation, I can’t remember the context, but he said to me, “What the hell do you care about the sex of the person giving you head?  Close your eyes and pretend.”

    I knew what he meant, because I had done that in my younger days in these adult arcades when I was in Los Angeles.  They would often have these little holes in the wall and I was often invited to stick it through the hole and get a blow job while watching heterosexual porn.  When you’re backed up, you’re backed up and any hole will do.  I did my best to pretend, but the mustache did sometime make it a little more difficult.

    I will say this, on the overall; Gay men do give better head that most of the women I have known.  When you think about it, this stands to reason, they’re more familiar with the equipment.

    The last scenario began at a Gay wedding held on a ship that left from Long Beach, California.  The theme was “Recognized by No Nation.”  So they rented a ship and sailed out beyond the three-mile limit, and got married anyway.   At that wedding I was approached by a Hispanic girl, with the biggest breasts I’ve ever seen in my life, they had to have been double-D.  When you see that they attached to a five-foot-one, hundred twenty pound form with long black hair, on a girl who wanted me, well, needless to say, I was I was one enamored twenty-something boy.

    After the wedding and the cruise were over I followed her to a bar, where we sat and had a few more drinks.  I became a little suspicious when at that bar, I say men slow dancing with other men.  Then I went to the bathroom where I saw men kissing and this one guy banging what appeared to be a girl in the toilet stall.  Needless to say, it was a hel of a party night. 

    At some point during the night she told me she was a boy, or what they call a transsexual today.  So I thought what the hell, a hot wet hole is a hot wet hole, and this is going to be an interesting night.  And indeed it was.  I still think of her as a girl.  When the Babe has double-D perky breasts and you bend her over, it makes it pretty easy to pretend.  So, I ended up having a little fling with her for somewhere around six weeks. 

    There wasn’t too much to do in the way of reframes around this one, since I had already lost my homophobia and was doing what I was doing at free-will choice.  However, I did come up with one reframe I thought was pretty cool.  I called it the Gay Scouts with Teen Trannies.  Can you think up a few unique Merit Badges that might apply to this troop?

    I have done what I can for the Gay community given the few experiences that I have had in my own right.  But while I have pranced around the edges of that lifestyle, I’m sure that I have not begun to understand what it really means to be Gay.  So, ultimately, it’s going to take the Gay men themselves doing three to five reframes a day to address the issues, that are specifically their issues.  I just don’t have the anchor memories.

    Likewise for the lesbian community.  I’m sorry, but I can do almost nothing for you, except bless and sanctify your sexuality in the name of God and on my own authority.  But, Babes?  You’re going to have to pick up the ball and take it from here, because I have no clue what life must be like for you.

Other Forms of Shame Induction

    There are plenty of other forms of shame induction.  One of these is the shame over the expression of cowardice, in any for but especially on the battle field.  And we all have these memories, either in our own lives, or in our ancestral memories.  It could be something like being bullied on the school grounds because you were too frightened to stand up for yourself.  Or it could be something as tragic as running away from the battle and getting your whole unit slaughtered.  The shame over cowardice is a big deal for us men. 

    Then there are many other simpler things, like not being able to take your punishment like a man, of getting bad grades in school, of being rejected by a woman.  There seem to be almost infinite variations of shame induction in this inverted world in which we live.  This is not surprising, as it is shame that makes the world go round.

    Not to worry, at whatever level you happen to find yourself.  But when you dealt with the really difficult issues addressed above, then the rest of these will be easy.  They will float to the surface, like kelp that has been dislodged from it’s anchor stone during a storm, where they can be easily seen and subsequently dealt with.

    In the end, there is only one thing to do, three to five reframes a day.
 

Pushing through the Doubt Shroud
Around the Mental Body

    Spirit and Body are at the opposite ends of Creation and we have been slinging arrows at one another for all of time.  The Heart and Will polarized people have been caught in the middle of this war and damaged badly by both friendly and foreign fire.  In a very real way they have been the battlefield upon which we have fought our battles. 

    This is why the worst of what we’re trying to move through to heal is to be found in the emotional and spiritual bodies.  They were caught in the middle, while Spirit and Body people were at the ends and only taking flak from one direction.  It’s for this reason the Guilt Shroud, was not too difficult to work through, once we understand how to do that.  I expect that this will also be true about the Doubt Shroud when we get to it, because the mental body has suffered much less damage, than the emotional or spiritual bodies.

    That said, I don’t know how much I can help you with this one, other than to let you know that at some point in the process you will have to face and deal with your doubts.  The problem is that while I have created places to stand within the other three bodies, I’m still working on this one.  Life is a process of evolving The Truth, and we’re all still a work in progress.  So, this is where I’m at in my healing process, I’m still working on the doubt shroud.

    I have seen a few things, like belief being doubt induction and faith being abdication of personal responsibility.  I’ve seen the seven deadly sins as deliberate doubt induction, by the Church for the purpose of obtaining power over the flock.  And I see doubt as a major contributor to the destruction of self-esteem.

    As to the rest of what’s to be seen here, well, maybe you’ll just have to pick up the ball and investigate for yourself.  What I’m doing is looking at any and all places within me where I do not trust myself, and then trying to locate a memory that could explain why this is so.  Once the memory is located, I reframe it, and just keep doing the next thing, and then the next thing, and then the next thing to do. 

    Hey, I’m working this program the same as you.

The Spirit/Body Split

    There was a story that I heard on a few occasions during this lifetime, so I can’t attribute it to a particular author.  It seems that there was this scorpion that needed to cross a small river, and so he requested the services of a bullfrog to ferry him across the stream.  The bullfrog said, “No way!  If I allow you to climb upon my back you will surely sting me and I shall die.  Stay away from me.”

    “But why would I sting you in the middle of the river?  Yes, if I did that you would die, but I too would certainly drown.  Do you really think I’m that stupid?”

    “It is the way of scorpions to sting when they can.  Why should I trust you?” replied the frog.

    So the scorpion pulled out all the stops and used his incredible charisma and his scorpion tongue to charm, cajole, coax and wheedle the frog until the frog finally capitulated and said, “Okay, okay, I’ll take you across the damn river.” Whereupon the scorpion climbed up upon the frogs back, and the frog slipped into the water and began to breast stroke across the watery divide. 

    When they were about half way the scorpion could not hold himself back due to the feel of the succulent flesh of the frog beneath him.  He lifted his tail and promptly stung the frog in the back of the head. 

    The frog was stunned, “Why did you do that?” exclaimed the frog.  “Now we shall surely both die,” said the frog, with his dying breath.

     And as the frog sank and the scorpion slipped into to water, he was heard to say, “I guess it was just my nature.”

    The Spirit/Body split is the biggest split in the whole of Creation.  It’s not just here on Planet Earth, it affects the whole of this Universe, but it is the primary reason that we do not have peace here on Planet Earth.  From God’s point of view, the healing of the Spirit/Body split is the highest priority objective in the whole of this Creation, and it looks like this is my job.  Well, I don’t want to wax too arrogant, let us say that it’s my job to do what I can to facilitate that objective, here in this lifetime.

    What I’ve found as I have been healing the Doubt Shroud around my mental body, is that many new understandings about the Spirit Polarity are now coming through.  What I’m seeing is that we of the Body Polarity have dominion over form and all that this entails, the Spirit Polarity have dominion over the mental body.  It’s a reciprocal thing as we are the equal and opposite of one another.

    Inverted Spirit obtains his power through the mechanizations of the mind.  A previous father-in-law of mine who was clearly Spirit Polarized told me a story once.  He was a small store owner and this older couple came into his shop to buy some veal.  He talked them out of their choice and persuaded them to buy the lamb instead.  He was having fun.  Then he reversed himself and convinced them that the veal was really the correct choice.  He was so proud that he could do what he did that day with those people.  He called it merchandizing. 

    That’s a very telling story and reveals a lot about the Spirit Polarity in general.  More than anything else, they seem to value their ability to screw with your mind, or to be able to baffle you with bullshit, so they can get you to get with their program whatever that might be.  Yep, the powers of the Spirit Polarity are what I call the Six D’s.  They value Duplicity and Deceit as their primary tools for getting what they want out of life, or during this lifetime.  They are also masters of Distraction and Distortion.  They will distract you so that they can do things behind your back, and they will distort The Truth, or put a spin on it, coaxing you into believing something that might be a little more palatable than the raw facts.  Then there is Doubt induction, causing you to doubt your own perceptions.  These first five D’s are all used to culminate the last ‘D’ known as the Deal or an agreement which will invariably be to their benefit and your detriment. 

    These are the primary tools that I have seen employed by inverted Spirit.  You need to keep a watchful eye out whenever you’re around them, and don’t even think about playing poker with these dudes.

    When I look inside at the Spirit Polarity, one of the things that I see is that all they really care about is them and theirs, and in the case of Legislators, their corporate sponsors.  I thought I was the archetypal misanthrope, I don’t hold a candle to these guys and gals.  If you’re not in their click, you might as well not exist.  Another thing I see about them is that they’re always seeking advantage in everything that they do.   When I go into a deal, I’m seeking fairness and equitability or a win/win situation, they on the other hand seem to always seek to get the better end of the deal, in other words they win and you lose.  I guess it’s just their nature.

    So how do I know all this?  Because I’m becoming them as I move into and through the Doubt Shroud around the mental body.  In the beginning I didn’t know what I was doing or how I was doing it.  I was just following my intuition wherever it lead.  Today however, I can see what it is that I did and how I did it, and I can give you a bit of a helping hand through the Doubt Shroud around the mental body.

    Do you remember when we talked about sympathetic resonance and how the Spirit Polarity likes to use us as a trash can to dump out everything about themselves that they don’t love about themselves?  Well, that’s how I did it.  I would get around some Spirit Polarized person, they would just give me all the stuff that they did not love about themselves.  That stuff was a bunch of traumatized children, or traumatic memories in time that they didn’t want to have to deal with. 

    So, I took this on and then I loved those children into a healing.  They then subsequently woke up and gave me many insights into he who had pushed them out.  You see, this was Spirit’s essence or Spirit’s consciousness, before he abandoned them.  And that consciousness has all the memories that Spirit had up to the time that it was pushed out or left on its own accord.  And it is those memories that allow I, who was willing to love that essence, to see what Spirit’s real motivations are.  They’re kind of like a bunch of little spies peering into a darkness that is sounded by duplicity and deceit, but they‘re looking at it from the underside.  And to me, these little children are valuable beyond belief.  It’s amazing what you are allowed to see, when you choose to create your Self as Love for All That Is.

    And so that is how I see us healing the Spirit/Body Split, we shall assimilate them, we shall absorb their essence and make it our own.  And by doing so we shall be able to see through them like a plate glass window.  For these Spirit Polarized people that currently rule this world, the politicians, legislators, judges, the businessmen, bankers and preachers, well, these people are soon going to find that they have no place to run and no place to hide, as they shall become as transparent as a crystal ball thanks to their whistle-blowing children that they would not love.

    The Spirit/Body split is the number one reason that we do not have peace here on planet earth.  They see us as patients and peasants and slaves, while we see them as liars and cowards and thieves.  This is my job, to do what I can to facilitate a resolution to this ancient split in consciousness.  How and the hell are we going to do that with such incredible polarization, I don’t have a clue.  I am however, the archetypal engineer and I do realize one simple thing, you cannot solve any problem until you can fully understand the problem from all points of view.  So, that’s my tack, this is the path I have chosen to take, to try to understand the motivations of Spirit, God on High from the bottom up.  Let us pray that we shall succeed in producing a fair inequitable solution to the problem of the Spirit/Body split that is acceptable to all, because failure to produce a healing in this split would mean the end of the whole of Creation. 

    And Folks, I’m not joking even a little bit, it really is that serious, it’s deadly serious.

Spirit’s Save Button

    Have you ever play that video game called DOOM?  It was a game that came out in the early nineties where the player was a warrior playing against overwhelming odds.  It was somewhat like Dungeons and Dragons except that it was more of a vertical tower instead of an underground dungeon.  It had about nine or ten levels through which you had to progress killing a few thousand bad guys along the way with pistols, shotguns, AK-47‘s and such.  It was a pretty graphically bloody game, which is probably why it was such a hit. 

    It took me a few weeks to play this game through until I reached the top and could engage and kill the really super bad guy.  I could not have done it in that timeframe without a Save Button.  You see, these games are usually equipped to allow you to go to a certain level, and click on the Save Button.  In that way, if your character gets killed, you can begin again from the last point at which you saved the game.  It’s a cool feature to have a Save Button.

    Well, Spirit has a similar feature, a Save Button.  It’s called his genetic line and it is the way he has found his immortality.  When he dies, he will reincarnate down through his own genetic line, and begin again with his own ancestral memories to use as a foundation for that next lifetime.  From there he can just pick up and move on to the next level.

    We of the Body Polarity, on the other hand do not have that Save Button.  We found an alternate path, or rather had it forced upon us, through fragmentation.  So what I’m seeing is that we of the Body Polarity exist in several thousand different physical bodies simultaneously, at all different ages all around this planet.  This is our path to immortality, the equal and opposite of the Spirit Polarized path.

    The problem for us is that we don’t have the Save Button.  Every time we start life, we begin as white trash, the black boy in the ghetto, the Indian on the reservation, or some other person of little or no means.  If we make good at this game called ‘Life’ we do it all on our own and in a single lifetime.  My view is that this reality makes us stronger than those of the Spirit Polarity.  When we get to the top, we will have done it in a single game with no second chances.

    If inverted Spirit were to lose his genetic line, he’d have to begin again back at the starting line as one of the dregs of the earth that he helped to create.  Wouldn’t that be something to see?

Springtime in September

    Over the last couple of years that I have been actually writing this book, I have been doing what has been called, snow birding.  I would spend the Summers on the western slope of Colorado near Ridgway, and the Winters in Scottsdale Arizona.  It has been a pleasant time where I could focus internally.

    I have been back and forth between these two places several times, and I remember seeing a sign on the road near Cortez pointing a road toward what is called the Four Corners.  Apparently they have a monument there because it’s the only place in America where four separate states come together at a single point, Arizona, Utah, Colorado, and New Mexico.  I expect that there you could walk a ten foot circle with a few steps in each of those states.  This place inspired for me what I now call the Four Corners Reframe.

    Imagine a situation where you had carved out four separate two foot diameter circles in the snow two feet deep.  These circles form a square with two representing all the work that you have done on the Object Beam in the Physical and Emotional Bodies carving out a place within which to stand.  The other two circles represent the work you have done on the Reference Beam carving out a place within which to stand.  At this point there is still some snow and ice at the bottom of these caverns in the snow, but you can see the green grass striving to push up to reach the light.

    No imaging placing a wooden straight-backed kitchen chair in that place with the front two legs in the center of the Reference Beam holes in the snow, and the rear legs in the center of the object holes in the snow, such that this chair connect all four holes in the snow that we have created in the process of doing this work.  I’d put a soft cushioning pad on that wooden chair, but you can tough it out if you want to see yourself as being manly.  I for one am getting too old to say no to small pleasures.

    Okay, so now that we have the chair in place, picture yourself sitting on the chair.  Your feet are planted firmly on the ground in the Reference Beam.  See yourself reaching down and placing your hands on the rear legs of the chair pointing down and connecting  to the land within the Object Beam with little beams of white laser beams.  Then picture God as you know Him/Her placing their hands upon your head and pushing their light of love deep into your body so that your body begins to glow like a firefly in the night. 

    Next, see yourself pushing that light of love that you are being fed out and into the Earth through the soles of your feet and the palms of your hands, feeding and nurturing our Mother Earth.  Now, see the heat of that connection melt the ice and snow inside the four platforms upon which you sit, such that the green grass comes alive and stretches up to wiggle in the wind of a soft breeze.  As you watch and continue to channel the light of love, the walls of the platforms begin to melt, until you have not four separate circles, but one large area filled with green grass upon which to stand, and fully integrated.  Finally, picture a light coming up from the center of the Earth that connects to your base chakra and sending the energy of the Mother up your spine and back to God in response to the Light of Love.

    Click, take a picture, put a frame around it of whatever colors come to mind, and you know what to do to bring it all together.

Dealing with Depression

    Once you realize the enormity of the problem, it should be pretty easy to understand why we of the Body Polarity are in incredible pain and often depressed.

    Let’s just take one issue and look at it more deeply, physical abuse.  You hold the memories of 2046 ancestors half of which are boys.  If your Body Polarized ancestors are one quarter of that then that’s 254 boys.  Those boys are holding the shame for the entire family and Daddy can see it pretty plainly when he shines his light upon us.  Shame seeks punishment and Daddy feels totally justified in handing it out.  So, from about the age of six to about the age of sixteen we end up getting the living shit kicked out of us pretty much once or twice a week, but let’s say it’s only once. That’s still five hundred beatings laid upon us per lifetime before we can get the hell away.  So, as a Body Polarized boy you will have a minimum of 132,080 memories of being beaten by Daddy. 

    Many of those times we were beaten totally into submission and we remember being seven, eight or nine years old and speaking the words “Please, Daddy, please!  I can’t take it anymore!  I’ll do anything!  I’ll do anything you say!”  It’s just three little words, three little words that constitute a pledge or an agreement, given at free will choice, to enslave your Self to Spirit and the Spirit polarized people here on Earth.  These three little words are the source of Spirit’s power to determine what is and is not The Truth with respect to everything, beaten out of us as very young boys.  It is the source of power for every organized religion and indeed every institution on planet Earth.  I don’t know about you folks, I’m not going to stand for this anymore.

I’m not going to stand for it. 

    Those are some incredibly powerful words.  The statement does not mean that I am taking an adversarial position with respect to the matter, as most people would assume.  No.  It means, quite precisely, that I am not going to choose, of my own free will, to stand for that such and such shall be The Truth.  It is a respectful refusal honor the request to create The Truth the way someone else desires.  It is also a declaration that I have the right, the power, the authority and the jurisdiction to create My Truth, however the hell I want.

I have the right to declare and decree,
That for which I choose to stand,
And no one in the whole of this world,
Gets to have any say about that, but me,

 

    And, you know, that’s just the situation for physical abuse.  We still have sexual abuse, which has been so prevalent over the last three hundred years that I have to say it was normal human behavior.  And then there are abandonment issues, verbal abuse like “Just do what I fucking tell you or I’ll rip off your God damned head and shit down your fucking throat.”  Or “I brought you into this world and I can take your ass out!” And so on, and so on and so on.

    So, it shouldn’t be surprising to find oneself in a depression when we’re having to hold all these memories for the whole of the human race over the last three hundred years with no known way to clear it.

    There are some prescription drugs on the market today that have been helpful for many people.  They’re called SSRI’s and include drugs like Paxel, Prozac, and Zoloft.  The problem with these drugs is that they are memory suppressants, they work by suppressing the memories so you are no longer aware of the emotional content and don’t have to feel it.  It’s not a bad thing, but neither is it a genuine solution to the problem.  At best these drugs constitute a coping mechanism.

    I see two big problems with these drugs if you choose to do this work.  First, the memories are important.  You cannot heal the emotional content in a memory that you cannot remember.  The memory will just be there in your auric field forever.  The second issue is that as more and more Body Polarized people light themselves up and get directly connected to God, the amount of Super-Luminal light emanating from the center of the Earth is increasing.  This is going put more and more pressure on these traumatized children, and you are likely to require ever more powerful drugs and doses.  If you need them, then you need them.  It’s your choice and you have the right to choose.  Actually, it seems clear to me that this backlighting of the people on these drugs, is the reason why some people find themselves suicidal when they try to get off the drugs.  This is because the problems they were having that led to the need for the drugs, will have gotten more intense in the interim.  And without the tools to actually heal the memories, what can you do?  Anyway, now we do have some very effective tools.

    So, an alternative might be this over-the-counter product called SAMe recommended to me by a Naturopath, that I took for a while when I was in the midst of healing manic terror.  It did not suppress the memories, but it made it easier for me to work with them.  Actually she suggested three herbal remedies and they did help quite a lot.  One was called 5HTP and I don’t recall the third.  So, if you want to do this work, and you choose to get off these drugs, you might want to talk with a Naturopath and ask their advise.